I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
