I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
