I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
