around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
