I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Randomize
