He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
