I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
