Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize