I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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