: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
