Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
