so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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