watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
