So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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