the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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