DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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