Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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