I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
