Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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