Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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