Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
