trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
