i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
