Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Randomize
