i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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