Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize