...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
