wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
