Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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