Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
