I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
