Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
