just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
