Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
