i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
