I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
