Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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