Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We got so high we made milksteak
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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