Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
