You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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