Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize