in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
