who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
