you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
