So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How does one acquire holy water?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
