But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
