I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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