cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
