everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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