I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
