After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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