Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
