Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
