This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
