I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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