so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
