I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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