somebody snuck up and got me drunk
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
