I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize