I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
even my farts smell like vagina
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
