garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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