I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
