No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
i've created a new STD.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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