I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
