Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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