That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
