Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
