My nipple is on Facebook.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize