Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
